I saw an old college buddy at the grocery store.
I haven’t seen him in years so I waved at him excitedly with both hands
with all the subtlety of the Kool-aid Man crashing through a wall.
“Hey Fucker!” I shouted gleefully across
the frozen produce section.
I waited for him to register who I was.
That’s right. Take your time…Dipshit.
Finally, “Oh, hey man!” He returned.
“Hey!” I repeated, came up to him and looked him over.
“Christ, you’re fat!” I said.
“I’m married.” He shrugged.
“Yeah, I can see that it’s done wonders for you.”
“Are you married?” He asked.
“Now don’t you start with that crazy talk!”
I saw him signal something to a woman
lumbering around the organics section
scaring children and
sensuously eying the cucumbers.
She almost sucked up an avocado just by breathing.
“Is that your wife over there?” I asked.
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